The Art And Science Of Being An Uncompromising Bitch/Six Easy Steps To A Bitchier You

The Art And Science Of Being An Uncompromising Bitch

Step 1:

Forget about what people think

Notice that I said “forget,” rather than neglect to perceive…sometimes considering someone else’s point of view is essential. Fortunately when it comes to being true to yourself, what others think is rarely any of our own personal business.

Step 2:

Acknowledge that there WILL be people out there who dislike—even hate you. 

This is beyond your control. While evaluating your own behavior to ensure that it is appropriate and that it jibes with who you are at your core and the values you hold, it is not your job to mitigate other people’s feelings, thoughts or reactions, which are almost always based on their own self esteem, life experiences or lack thereof. This is beyond your control. If you’re a decent human being with compassion, empathy, and authenticity, anyone with a decent sense of self and a moral compass will see you for who and what you are.

Step 3:

Move past step 3. 

All of that WILL happen, but so will so much else. You will find a natural respect for yourself emerging which means more than any outside regard ever could or should.

Step 4:

Never compromise your values or your integrity.

When you’re really starting to follow these steps, the true bitch emerges, but don’t let that feeling of power catch you slippin’. You know that moment when you’re really feeling yourself and you know everyone is watching you walk like a supermodel, with the wind in your hair? Well, that’s the moment when you know you’re about to secretly find a wad of toilet paper stuck to your shoe. That’s that moment when you’re about to trip down the stairs and fall face-first into the concrete. What I’m saying is…

Step 5:

Don’t take yourself too seriously. 

The moment you do, you cease to be the right kind of bitch. It's scientifically proven. Plus, the major upside to not taking yourself too seriously is that you can’t take the shit other people try to put on you anywhere near even minutely seriously. 

Step 6:

Be kind.

I know—you’re sitting there reading this going ‘what does kind have to do with being a bitch?’ But stay with me. Kind has everything to do with being a bitch. Kindness is key. You see, a real bitch is kind when kindness is needed—she’s kind when kindness is in short supply. After all, bitches have a namesake to live up to, because what is a bitch but a mother? And what are mothers but loving and kind? We bitches take our namesake from man’s best friend. Dogs are fierce; loyal—especially mothers. They protecc AND attac, but most of all, they don’t lie about who or what they are. 

So that’s it! Six easy steps to a bitchier you! Use them wisely.