"Maggie" Movie Review

"Maggie" Movie Review

                                                   (Credit: Credit)

Let me preface this review by saying that I have had my share of doubts over the years about Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting talent and style. Wait...did I just say "doubts"? Because let's be honest, I basically fucking knew-as did around 99.999% of the population that Mr. Schwarzenegger's success was at best a fluke and at worst a cruel, cruel joke being played over and over again upon an unsuspecting and sometimes undeserving public.
But...and here's where shit gets weird...since his return to the big screen after his stint as governator (can we all just please forget that in all of its sinister implications, icky revelations and lackluster "glory"?), I have glimpsed a side of Arnold Schwarzenegger that I was previously loathe to believe could've possibly existed. Apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger has been hiding this side of himself from public knowledge, and here I am today testifying in the court of public opinion to the fact that it does actually exist! Arnold Schwarzenegger is a terrific actor!
 Arnold Schwarzenegger has apparently been woefully underestimated and horribly miscast for the past forty odd years. He is indeed, actually, a very talented actor. I am in complete and total awe at Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting capabilities. My world has been torn asunder! Down is up and up is down. The wolf is lying with the proverbial lamb, the leopard with the goat and all that other happy biblical shit. I actually saw an award worthy performance from both Mr. Schwarzenegger and Abigail Breslin in a small film festival movie called "Maggie" and the feeling won't leave me alone. This movie touched my heart. Truly. Both Schwargzenegger and Breslin were terrific, their performances outstandingly nuanced and visually beautiful to boot. In fact, the whole movie was visually beautiful as well as emotionally touching.

(Credit) 

                                         (Credit)

 Several critics beat up on this particular movie a bit because it wasn't gory and violent enough for them to consider it a true zombie/post-apocalyptic thriller, but those people are probably the type that have only been reviewing Tarantino and Rodriguez films for the past two decades and have forgotten that although violence can be a useful tool, especially in genre and sub-genre films, there isn't often anything more to said movies. We have become lost in a world of cheap thrills, hypnotized by the possibility of being able to sit for two hours in a dark room and feel, but not think. A point can however be made in a movie without said moviemakers beating the audience over the head with constant and sustained literalism. A genre film/sub-genre film or action film doesn't have to be grandiose and super violent to get its point across. Maggie proves that such a film can actually be minimalist, artsy and beautiful, yet still manage to come across with the most desperate and inescapable sense of horror one can imagine.
 Maggie was a compelling film on so many levels and in so many ways. "Maggie" is a film that makes the viewer really consider what it's like to have to let someone go--to consider what a difference it makes when we let them go in the right way and at the right time. It perfectly conveys the sense of beauty, depth and tragedy inherent in such an act. It shows us every heart wrending side to the saddest of times. And yet...it reminds us that although life can be terrible, it can also be beautiful. It reminds us that some of the gravest and most meaningful beauty in life is that of autonomy, free will and strength and our ability to make our own choices in our own time and in our own ways. Maggie is understated, beautiful, deep, meaningful, thought provoking and compelling while remaining simple, straightforward and, well, horrible-in all the right ways. The point of this particular story is obvious, not because we are beat over the head with it, but because it is so achingly poignant and so unbelievably well acted and artfully shot that the themes and overarching lessons flow seamlessly from storyteller to audience at all times. Arnold Schwarzenegger gives a surprisingly beautiful, heartfelt performance in "Maggie." I've seen a couple of Arnold movies lately that make me question my assumptions about his talent. This is one of them. "Maggie" made me cry more than once. It was beautifully acted by both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Abigail Breslin. I'd love to see them together again in future. If you haven't checked this movie out, do yourself a favor and watch it,
but go in with no expectation but to be amazed. I told you shit would get weird...but somehow it did so in all the right ways. Kudos to Arnold Schwarzenegger. After years of duds, fun, campy action
films and cringeworthy dialogue, you have made a believer out of me. I'm genuinely looking forward
to seeing what your acting future holds.

Reviewing The Hateful 8

Reviewing The Hateful 8 

By: Dominique Miller

Exciting premise with gorgeous cinematography...

(Credit: architecturaldigest.com)

Boring movie which takes place mainly in one room and has little to no plot movement...

(Credit: The Guardian)

My sick day movie today was The Hateful Eight. I've been meaning to watch and review this movie for some time now. But take heed, dear readers, because although I am a big Tarantino fan, I am about to be quite blasphemous. So far, this has been the only Tarantino movie that I do not like. It bored the shit out of me. Possibly literally.
 The Hateful 8 has been possibly the most boring, pointless, predictable movie that ever manifested itself from the mind of such a genius filmmaker. The premise itself is ridiculous and not in the usual fun, somehow simultaneously deep and lighthearted way that the majority of past Tarantino movies have had. But this one is truly bad...eight people stuck in a house while a blizzard rages outside?? Really?? If anyone wanted to see someone lose their mind during a blizzard, they could've come up to Door County with me this past weekend and watched me go stir crazy in my condo while it snowed profusely outside. It probably would've been more entertaining and it certainly would've seemed a shorter affair than this three plus hour anchor drag of a movie.
 The Hateful 8 utilized what would otherwise seem impressive 70mm cameras, being toted by equally impressive and talented camera men and women. It also, unfortunately in this case, utilized Tarantino's meandering story telling style, which is usually also...well...impressive, but which was unfortunately unswervingly dull in this particular instance. His normally engaging way of making sure that the engine and the caboose of a story connect somewhere in the middle fell messily apart every time this story time engine took even the slowest of curves on its long, long track. Though well known and loved, Tarantino's signature style was used in about the worst and most heavy handed way imaginable. Although tedious at times, the plentiful, heavy symbolism employed by so many Tarantino films was certainly appropriate because this movie truly was a never ending blizzard. How can such heavy, weather related symbolism be so drab, you ask?

(Credit: thecodeiszeke.com)

Let's explore. For starters, the very first instance of symbolism within this movie; that of a stagecoach winding its way-meandering-slowly, tediously through a mountain pass during a blizzard. Unlike similar imagery contained within the entertaining and poignant Django Unchained, this imagery is perfectly indicative of the lack of excitement to come in The Hateful 8.
 Now, although this movie is quite boring, we can't attribute that entire state of affairs to the fact that it took place largely in one room. Resovoir Dogs also took place largely in one room and Resovoir Dogs was brilliant. Could it be that Tarantino was attempting to recreate some of this brilliance with The Hateful 8?
 But I digress. Let's talk some more about the beautiful symbolism present throughout some of his greatest works. Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained were deeply symbolic, deeply moving works in many ways. Inglorious Basterds was rife with symbolism and metaphor, both ugly and beautiful. The startling changes from one to the other keep the audience on the edges of our seats and glued to the screen throughout.

(Credit: Pinterest)

 The beauty of the milk lovingly poured from milking pail to glass at the LaPadite farmhouse suggests an innocence-an innocent time, an innocence of heart and mind of the hardworking people of Europe who had the misfortune of being invaded by the Third Reich.

(Credit: ankitasheth.wordpress.com)

This innocence is of course contrasted by the gleaming black jackboots of the Nazi soldiers, the perfectly placed hat on Col. Hans Landa's head. This type of dichotomy is present throughout the entire movie and is part of what makes it so great. All of Quentin Tarantino's movies are filled with
this sort of multilevel storytelling. Hell, even the symbolism in the Grindhouse double feature was full of this multilayered, deep, yet refreshingly exciting and fun writing, directing, acting, and cinematic style. Everything from the camera work to the acting is extremely well controlled and specific. That has always been a hallmark of Tarantino movies.
 Much of that was certainly present in The Hateful 8, so why then was The Hateful 8 such a disappointment? Now, it's worth noting that to most filmmakers, The Hateful 8 would likely have been an unbridled success far beyond their wildest imaginings. However, Tarantino has set a very high bar for himself as a filmmaker and when he fails to meet his own standards, it does not go unnoticed.
 There is a sense throughout the entirety of The Hateful 8 of laziness. Tarantino's normally intelligent, imminently quotable, too-cool-for-school, dialogue is empty trite and rote, his story telling tired.
Usually Tarantino finds some great stops and entertaining, yet pertinent diversions along the way during his long trip from the beginning to the end of a story, but this time, although the story certainly was long and meandering and rife with symbolism, it wasn't interesting. Even the symbolism itself seemed obvious, stale and rote--devoid of color.
 Unlike in many of Tarantino's movies, Inglourious Basterds of course being one of them, Tarantino's characters seem to beg for redemption. In fact, we, the viewers, root for this redemption. I defy you not to root for Frederick Zoller to come to his senses even up until his very last moment in Inglourious Basterds. I defy you not to want with all your heart for Shoshanna not to kill him, not to kill her lover Marcel and not to kill herself. The characters in The Hateful 8 are much more one dimensional. I didn't root for even one of them to do anything but stop talking, but even when they did that I wasn't satisfied. One thing and one thing only ever interrupted the excuciating level of exposition in this movie--the death of a character. But far from the meaningful death scenes that even the most meaningless characters inhabiting Tarantino's brutal and violent worlds receive, these characters simply died. There was no meaning. There was no symbolism-at least none that made any sense. The characters were irredeemable and the tone and dialogue was tedious. I truly can't decide if this was a purposeful tone that was carefully set or a simple lack of good writing. Surely, there are better ways of accomplishing the telling of a meaningful story.
 Though Tarantino is a master at telling great stories of all kinds-pointless and poignant alike-his best works are often an odd mix of both, this story seems truly pointless. The redeeming qualities present in even the silliest Tarantino movies are almost entirely lacking here.
 So what was this story about? I don't mean the obvious plot lines. I mean the underlying point--that deeper level of meaning that plays such a major part in most of his films. I believe this movie was meant in part to illustrate the pointless nature of some of the post-civil war in fighting. I believe he meant to discuss the ramifications of the civil war on society and to illustrate the uglier side of the era of reconstruction. However, the way he went about it was ham-handed at best, especially by his own standards. The acting was fine. I do not however think that this movie was cast nearly as well as some of my favorite Tarantino films. I realize that Quentin Tarantino has made somewhat of a career of pulling beautiful performances from forgive, but...shall we say...not the best actors...? He has plucked actors from the depths of obscurity to place them squarely in the limelight once again, and in that respect, he has succeeded at least in one such attempt this time around: with Jennifer Jason Leigh. She was the consummate embodiment of said proclivity at least in this particular film. Jennifer Jason Leigh was brilliant. She carried even the scenes where she was only a background character. She was quite literally the star of the scenes containing dialogue between other actors even though her only function was to quietly play piano in the background. That takes direction and that takes talent, so I will say that he succeeded on that front and so did she. I certainly can't give him all of the credit. She really delivered a stellar performance. Tim Roth was quite good as well. Aside from the great performances from these two actors, however, I fear he has failed in his latest attempt to revamp tired acting careers (not that either of these actors are tired, they simply fit his known formula of plucking previously used and/or previously famous actors and placing them squarely back on their shiny pedestals). I loved the hilariously adorable cameo by Channing Tatum. The look on his character's face before he dies just about makes the entire movie and it's so Tarantino. Tatum and Jennifer Jason Leigh had such chemistry even in that one scene! Wow!
 Unfortunately a lot of the character's motivations don't make a lot of sense and consequently, neither do the writers' or director's. Could that be the message? That racism and the civil war were senseless? Possibly...I guess...but there are certainly more graceful and less ham-handed ways of telling this tale and driving this point home. I for one say we give Quentin Tarantino about a dozen more chances to prove how awesome he is though. Let's reboot the system. Let's breathe some fresh air back into our favorite movie making machine. If I had my way, I would suggest that he start with another team-up with Robert Rodriguez...but what do I know, right? I only critique movies. I can't wait to see some of your comments and have this discussion!

The Importance Of Gender Neutral Bathrooms

I was recently visually accosted by this rather ignorant and unpleasant internet meme. Seeing that vicious little bit of fear-based reactionary nonsense made me decide to edit and publish this blog post which I've been writing for some time.

 We've heard a lot lately in the debate about whether, where and when people of differing genders should be able to use the washroom.
 There should be unisex and non-sexually-specific bathrooms available to everyone whenever and wherever the need may arise. Period. We need to stop looking at men as predators, women as victims, people who identify anywhere along the gender spectrum that differs from their sex as people to be avoided, people who are unwanted and lastly, of course, we shouldn't be looking at men and women as the only possible gender identities. This is juvenile, prudish and ridiculous. No one is suggesting that men and women will no longer have safe places to use the washroom. We're simply saying that everyone should have that option no matter what their gender identity. It strikes me that when this particular argument comes up, we seem to care so much about potential sexual harassment (especially of women), but rape culture is totally okay outside of this argument. Let's be honest here. We don't care about sexual harassment, because if we did, we would concern ourselves with trans individuals and individuals along the gender spectrum that will inevitably be sexually harassed for using assigned bathrooms that don't respect their identification. We simply don't want to have to lift a finger to change our way of life to fit those who we don't completely understand or identify with, a sentiment that I can only imagine must be echoed to the nth degree by those who don't fit our society's narrow standards of gender, because let's be honest, many of us don't. And it's our responsibility as conscientious citizens-as society as a whole-to change that.
 Taking a good, hard, honest look within ourselves to understand and change any inborn prejudice is tough, but it's something we must do if we as citizens want to understand the world around us and the people in it, protect and maintain our rights and rise above divisive, sound byte culture infographics like these. I'm sure there will continue to be private, one room washrooms and even men's and women's rooms as well as gender non-specific restrooms. No one is suggesting that one group or another's rights should supercede one another. As one of my favorite radio talk show hosts says, "my rights end where yours begin."
And as Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes famously said, "the right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."

 Laws like those passed and those being considered in the Carolinas are essentially a swing of the fist at the proverbial nose of the lgbtq and the differently abled communities, which account for a substantial amount of the population.

*A Chicago architect has designed public, gender neutral bathrooms with complete privacy in mind for those who need to use the restroom and do so in a timely manner, which sexually segregated bathrooms prohibit.

 If anything, instituting appropriate bathroom access for all should help discourage sexual harassment and judgment. There are so many reasons why appropriate restroom access is so important. It's incredibly important for transgender individuals and those who identify somewhere on the gender spectrum that isn't exactly where someone else identifies. I believe, however that this issue extends beyond gender and sexual identity issues.
 What about mothers who need to take their young sons into restrooms, fathers who need to take their young daughters to the restroom, parents who need to take their differently abled adult child or children who need to take their elderly parent to the restroom? There are so many reasons why we need to open up unisex and sexually non-specific restrooms. There are so many reasons why we need to stop legislating away our rights. But in order to do that, we will have to move past our prudish understanding of gender, sexuality and the human body at least to a very small degree.
 Why not take a step in the right direction by doing away with bills like Indiana state senate bill 100, South Carolina's S 1203, North Carolina's HB2 and other such proposed legislation that would aim to take away the dignity of those who identify somewhere along the gender spectrum in some way that differs from their "assigned" sexual identity at birth and those who may need extra help using the restroom for physical and mental reasons. Restricting restroom access pending societal judgment of what gender or sex someone should or shouldn't identify with is hateful and unnecessary. Restricting restroom access to those with differing physical and mental needs is as well. Conversely, assuring everyone of every age and every level of physical and mental ability the right to use the restroom if and when they need, wherever they are, be it at school or out in public away from their home is an essential human right and should be treated as such.




*Credit to the Huffington Post for the first picture listed above.
*Credit to QuoteHD.com for the second picture listed above.
*Credit to http://moss-design.com/gender-neutral-bathrooms/ for the wonderful concept and final picture included within my post.

Dating Masterclass

Dating Master Class

Let's be honest boo, if you're plumbing the fathomless depths of the internet for dating advice, right now, then you've found what you're looking for. Given the fact that I'm a lifestyle consultant, author and humorist, I've decided to combine all of these skills into one ginormous mega skill. This post includes acerbic sarcasm, true facts and realness. It also requires the necessary life skill of reading. If you're not for that, then I'd like to gently invite you to consider the possibility that perhaps you're not ready to start dating--successfully--just yet. And if that's the case, that's okay, but when you're ready to join the world of real dating and real human interaction, this post will thankfully still be available for your perusal. You're welcome, by the way.

Do you feel bad? Pathetic? Upset? Are you simply bummed that you can't seem to find the right partner/bummed about striking out with women (or men)? If that's how you feel, I think it's time to work on your approach, because the "hi's" and the "how are you's" and the coming across as a friendly teddy bear thing isn't working. It's not that you can't be a teddy bear, and if that's you, then by all means, let's make it work for you! It's just that you need to be a sexy, desirable teddy bear, and contrary to what the movies, books, tv, and social media tell us, the best way to do that is to showcase our truest qualities in their most naturally appealing forms. Unfortunately, problematic social norms which tend to cause more problems than they solve tend to get in between us--who were are as individual humans at our core and the communication of those beautiful truths to others in a way they can understand, digest and consider in a romantic fashion.

 The whole being a cute, emo wallflower thing isn't working. The "being the scruffy dude/dudette looking like they fiercely DO NOT CARE what anybody thinks (except you do and it hurts you every single time you're passed over in favor of someone else)" thing-you guessed it-ISN'T WORKING! Purposely eschewing other people by embracing self-limiting beliefs that you are somehow "not like other guys/girls" is often the culprit in terms of why some of us struggle in the dating world. But let's change all that. If you're with me and you're open to taking this journey of self-discovery, then congratulations! We can start by having you avoid saying and doing things that give the impression that you lack value. Among other things, this means not letting on right away that you are totally into whatever girl/guy/person you're asking out to the point that there is no time limit on your offers to hang out. So...let's start there...

BE SPECIFIC
Make specific offers. As women, especially women who work in stressful professions and have demanding jobs, some of us quite like it when you take charge-not in an irritating, condescending ("she'll have the lamb--rare, with very little mint jelly") way, but in an assertive-not aggressive (i.e. roided out freak Jersey Shore reject-"come at me, bro," not abusive husband-y), but not passive (umm do you wanna maybe hang out sometime? It's okay if you don't), take charge way-in a way that shows that your attention is focused on the woman in question and that you've been listening to what her likes and dislikes are or if you've not made it to that point in the discussion, she'll want to see that you can read her and that you understand the type of woman she is.

Por ejemplo, a classy woman isn't going to want to eat at Applebee's. A sporty or simple woman who doesn't like to get super fancy with it isn't going to want to go out to a five star restaurant or the ballet or the opera. A busy woman isn't going to want a prolonged affair like a tour of the city or a long movie or a long walk. A woman with health problems or weight problems or even a woman who just doesn't seem into physical exertion isn't going to want took for a spin class or a brisk jog. The point is: you have to know what kind of a woman you're with and there are many clues to help you to do that, both obvious and subtle. Your job is simple: don't be selfish and self-centered. Be an active listener and care enough about the person in front of you to do something that they're interested in as well as something that you are. There's no need to generically try to impress women with "stuff that women like," because I can pretty much guarantee you that all of the "stuff" you've heard about from tv and movies and maybe your sketchy, perpetually single uncle that "women like" is actually stuff that nobody likes and neither of you will be happy, and what does that accomplish?

 If you're still at a loss and the time has come to ask her out, CALL ME! Comment! Reach out! Really--this is literally what I do for a living. I take calls all day every day answering people's most dire dating and relationship questions. The best thing of course, if you're at a loss, is to simply fess up. "Hey, you seem like a great person, but I can't get a read on you and I would like to get to know you better while doing something we both enjoy." You could always use a gem like this, "you seem like such a dynamic woman with a ton of extremely cool interests. I'll admit it, I'm having trouble figuring out which cool as hell thing we need to do when we go out next Tuesday at 830pm (wo/man up, show your confidence by setting the date and time and putting a firm "ask" out there. I promise, if you phrase it this way, she'll be so refreshed with your honesty and so impressed with your confidence and so generally caught off guard in the moment, that she will likely immediately follow up by listing a few of her interests, whether she was thinking of going out with you before or not--and you're welcome, because now she IS thinking of going out with you and she's thinking about it very seriously). You'll have a great time without having to fall back on the planning of some boring, generic date AND you'll have at least one more subject to talk about when you do go out, and she made it easy--super easy for you by providing you with that subject herself before you even went out on your first date! Yay, you! Rock it out!

If you've talked about vegetarianism or healthy eating, then maybe suggest a healthy place. (For people in my area only: Seasons 52, Duke's, Cary Alehouse or even Expressly Leslie's). If you talk about sushi and how much she enjoys sushi, then that's where you invite her. If you talk about how much she loves a certain band or if you're listening to music together and discussing that music or dancing to/singing karaoke to that music the first time you meet, then you ask her to that band's concert. If you're talking about how much she loves to hike, then you take your athletic self and you go on ahead and invite her to a nature preserve for a hike (preferably somewhere beautiful, public and close-by). But bottom line, when it comes to a first date, you really need to do something that you both enjoy.

Style and Appearance:
Avoiding saying and/or doing things that imply that you lack value also includes nixing the scruffy clothes, hair, and potential makeup. Coming across dirty, smelly or unkept are not the sort of things you want to do. You might adamantly defy social conventions and norms in all their false, cretinous, existential glory, but the fact remains, like it or not, that when we show others that we don't respect ourselves, we, in turn, give them permission not to respect us.

 Now, I try my best to respect all people as should you, but that doesn't change the fact that gross, scruffy clothes, knotted, greasy hair, sweaty skin, etc. are simply not attractive qualities and that in this day and age, being in possession of one or more of the former might lead people to believe that you lack the necessary tools to care for yourself-including but not limited to running water, a washer and dryer, a toothbrush and a hairbrush. That's simply not appealing. Although no one is suggesting that you go through the elaborately silly grooming, fashion and/or makeup routines of a bro from Jersey or a woman from central Texas, what I am suggesting is that you find a style that suits you, because argue as you might, you're never going to convince me that "unkempt" or "uncombed hair and clothes that look like they could stand up on their own without the benefit of you being in them" is a style that you willingly and purposefully chose to affect. Odds are, you have a demanding job, not a lot of self-esteem and maybe not too much money and that's how your look came about.

Thankfully, we can all still put out best foot forward--even on a budget. If you don't even know what your personal style is, how can you expect anyone else to? If they can't identify it, they likely aren't going to be attracted to it. Now, no one is saying that you must fit into a certain style group (i.e. preppy, jock, boho chic, street, professional, tailored, elegant, etc.), but I am saying once again because it bears repeating that you must start finding your own personal style. No matter what your shape, your size or your budget, you can find something that works for you and start building on that. Looking like you're getting ready to go to Club Karma or A Night At The Roxbury isn't appropriate either. Nor is, dare I say, looking like an 1870's lumberjack or a Civil War general, but I digress. As I mentioned before, what matters the most is finding your own personal style.
 Avoid having bad breath, uncut nails (or un-manicured/cared for nails), messy (unwashed/un-styled) hair or facial hair, having gas or belching (when you think you're going to have to pass gas of any kind, especially while getting to know someone, and for some, even once you're in a well-established relationship, you excuse yourself to another room or outdoor area where you won't be overseen or overheard--bathrooms are the perfect retreat during just this sort of development--go figure).

Other First Date Guidelines:

Make sure that a first date isn't simperingly sweet or disgustingly romantic. Acceptable first date material:

•dinner at a restaurant you both enjoy

•a walk in a pretty public are is something I've suggested to my clients in the past that is easy on the budget, romantic and which gives you and your date time to get to know each other and either end or potentially extend your time together. I would suggest taking a walk where you'll be able to stop for coffee or hot chocolate somewhere nearby, or if it's warm outside, somewhere where you can grab an iced mocha or an iced tea while you walk. I always suggest ending walking in an area where there's a nice view to be seen. Your date will appreciate your romantic nature (without you overdoing it) and your attention to detail. It might even seem as if you've simply stumbled upon some sort of natural wonderland. This is the perfect date for you romantics out there, and it's also the perfect date for someone who really doesn't want to overdo it as well as those of you who might be on a budget. You can't go wrong with this one. *If you have an area close by like New York's Central Park, Chicago's Magnificent Mile or even a nice boardwalk of some type, these are great areas to walk, talk, grab food and find some spontaneously interesting things to do.

•Ice skating and coffee or hot chocolate (there are indoor rinks during warmer months). During warmer months, this will be completely unexpected and seem really sweet and creative.

•Pedicures and coffee! Men, if you haven't had a pedicure yet, I highly suggest getting one. Spoiler alert: you don't have to wear nail polish! I realize that many men see this as a "girly" thing to do (that's the misogynistic sort of standard you ought to ditch if you ask me), but it's really not. Any woman (or man) who possesses even the slightest sense of humor, kindness, fun, adventure or whimsy is going to appreciate your ingenuity and your sense of adventure and fun as well as your confidence.

•Take an art class (preferably a class where you can spend time talking and getting to know each other, relaxing and having fun)

•Take a cooking class together (again, one where you can talk and get to know each other)

•Go to a hibachi grill or a Japanese steakhouse (assuming she likes that kind of food--this would require some knowledge about the things she likes and doesn't like). These types of restaurants are very communal and public. They give you a chance to get to know each other in a more laid back, pressure-free setting.

•Go to a museum or an art exhibit. This gives you time to get to know each other and it definitely helps you to learn more about each others' tastes and interests.

•A fun park, carnival or amusement park: note, if you like the crazy rides and your date doesn't, nix that whole situation. You don't need to be ditching your date while you ride Iron Wolf. Get your faces painted, walk, talk, grab some food and something to drink. Make sure that you don't plan on spending the entire day there however, since this is after all a first date.


**Whatever you do, keep your experience short and to the point--even if one or both of you don't want it to end (this is a big one!). Leave them--and you--wanting more.


Bad First Date Ideas, topics and more--to be avoided:

•Going on a helicopter, plane or boat tour. Hey, buddy, this is a first date. Your girl/guy could very well be afraid of flying, boating or getting into a small, confined space with only you for company. That's creepy. Stop it. Seriously. Stop. You wouldn't believe how many of my clients think that these are romantic ideas. They're really not. These are "we've been dating for several months and we're feeling comfortable with each other" ideas. When planning a first date, always make sure that you have an escape route. Don't lock yourself in the cockpit of a plane or a helicopter or even inside of a moving bus or trolley with someone you may well want to escape from or who may want to escape from you  Safety reasons may apply here as well. You don't know this person. If this or any date/experience/outing makes you feel unsafe, it's okay for either of you to leave and leave now--without ANY explanation. Bottom line, both of you need to feel safe and you need to meet on neutral territory.

•Going anywhere where you're going to be picking your date up or vice versa. It is so important that we meet each other on neutral ground when going on a first date.

•Making racist, sexist, ageist or any other sort of inappropriate jokes. Look--it may have sounded epically hilarious in your head or in that book you read, that meme, gif, movie or tv show you saw, but I can pretty much guarantee you that holocaust/porn joke that you saw on Amy Schumer once, that Jew joke you saw on Curb Your Enthusiasm, that black joke you heard on Kevin Hart's latest comedy tour or that lovely compliment about how your date is "not like other girls/guys," is tall for an Asian woman, smart for a latinx person, pretty/beautiful/handsome for a dark-skinned person is NOT going to go over well AT ALL--even if they pretend to laugh or don't mention anything about feeling confused, upset or offended. IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE. DON'T SAY IT. Some self-deprecating humor is fine on a first date, but overdoing it or making your date the butt of your jokes is not okay.

•If you work in a stressful profession or have an illness of some sort, I'll give you a pass on this next one (or if you're lost--I had an experience one time with being horribly lost for a first date even though I left ridiculously early to make sure I arrived on time), but do your best not to be late, and if it's unavoidable, let your date know as soon as humanly possible so that they can decide whether to wait or reschedule. Coming in late with no appropriate reason and without having communicated your potential lateness to your date is just bad form.

•DO NOT chew with your mouth open, smack your lips, belch, fart, pick your teeth, pick your nose, scratch your crotch, spill your food, cough or sneeze without both turning away AND covering your nose and mouth, make any weird noises (I dated a guy once who used to make this really weird throat clearing sound that sounded like someone starting a riding lawnmower--we can just refer to him as lawnmower man for our purposes from now on--he did it loudly and often and for what seemed to be no apparent reason and this was an extremely attractive man-what a disappointment THAT was), answer calls or texts (one call or text  if you work in a high stress, demanding job, or if you have a sick relative or a serious emergency, but finish it quickly and if you need to, reschedule the date to a time when you won't be interrupted)

•Whatever you do, do not show your idiocy, racism or fervent support for Donald Trump on a first date.

•Do not talk over your date

•Do not neglect to talk at all

•Do not mention your horrible boss, your itchy hemorrhoids, your failed marriages, yoir psoriasis, your tendency toward flatulence, your horrible ex or exes (side note: if your date mentions horrible exes on the first date or even just often, run like hell because this person may be a narcissist or even sociopath at worst, and at best--I'm talking BEST possible scenario here, they're likely a severely immature and/or dysfunctional human being).

 Don't mention your lactose intolerance, your last bowel movement-or any of your bowel movements for that matter, your cult membership, or your strange religious beliefs. Don't mention the fact that you live with your Mom (unless of course your Mom is ill or has just lost your Dad or something similar, and you're fully and gainfully employed), that you're unemployed or that you haven't had sex in five years time.

•Everyone is different, but my advice is never to have sex on the first date. Now, I don't say that out of prudeness or any misplaced, outdated or subjective religious or societal sensibilities. I suggest this to my clients because there's just too much you don't know about each other. We're all guilty of trying to make ourselves look and sound awesome on a first date and either or both of you might consent to something you really aren't comfortable with either at this moment or later on down the line (and for you misogynists out there--that's a bad thing--for both of you), you
might wake up next to someone you didn't bargain for and worst of all, you might ruin a great potential sexual relationship with a potentially great partner by diving in too soon and ruining the vibe. You also don't know this person's sexual history, you don't know whether they could be emotionally or mentally unbalanced or whether they could try to target you as a stalker or worse (God forbid, but it happens more often than you might expect) and on top of all of that, you've just likely shown this person where you live or conversely, you've gone to their place of residence where you may or may not feel safe. That is not smart, folks. If you're just looking for a casual hookup, you have no business being on a date in the first place. Be honest with the person in front of you and don't lie about your intentions. Whatever the situation and whenever you do decide to have sex, always be safe. Neutral ground is key when possible.

•Do not invite this person to meet your Mom/Dad/Grandma/Grandpa/Cat/Dog/Best Friend/Child before (yes, that's happened), on (that too) or after a first date. That's weird and stalker-y and it shows astoundingly poor self-control, not to mention MAJOR boundary issues.

•Don't discuss your health issues (unless you are allergic to some sort of food or item that is or might be present during your date).

•I think that religion and politics, in general, are fair game, but telling someone about your high cholesterol is messed up.  And, again, telling your date about your strong support of Donald J Trump because he's building a wall to keep out the bad hombres or feeling moved to share your latest noteworthy bowel movement probably isn't the best. That may be one of those thoughts that would be happiest if left to grow and flourish where it belongs--inside your head. Just. Don't with that.

•Don't kiss and tell. Despite what you may have seen in tv or the movies or what your curious friends tell you, this is actually a sign of immaturity and a breach of trust and is in very poor taste. Don't do it.

Misfires--These Are Doozies, So Dispense With Any Of The Following Habits At All Costs:

First and foremost, and men, listen up, because this often applies more to you than it does to us women--dispense with lazy texts like hi, how are you?, whatcha doin'?, what's up?, how is/was your morning/day/evening/night? These are extremely lazy conversation starters that people (often, but of course not always) men employ in order to start a conversation with as little emotional, time, energy or thought power investment as possible in the hopes that the woman will continue the conversation/entertain them when they are bored, have nothing to say or are too nervous to come up with anything memorable or interesting or worse yet, when you don't know the man or woman you're talking to too well and don't want to bother to have to.

 *Its important to remember, guys and gals, that we women, in particular, are often on the receiving end of a barrage of boring, inappropriate, weird and/or disrespectful pickup attempts and conversation starters day in and day out. It is so important to make a good and lasting impression by saying something of value that will be remembered, that may even bring a smile to our faces when we look back upon that text or social media message later on, or better yet, when we proudly show it off to our friends--"omg, you won't believe the cute/awesome/hilarious/adorable text this cool guy or girl (you) just sent us *swoon*." This is absolutely crucial and can be a complete game changer! Guys (especially), it really doesn't matter whether you look like David Beckham or Beck. When you send us a thoughtful message that shows you to be a classy, possibly funny, assertive guy, all bets are off. You're already at least halfway there.* *Note: it's never appropriate to show more personal texts or messages from a date or anyone else to your friends or others. This is okay once in awhile when the message is sweet, benign and not too personal.

Confidence:
 If you approach women (or men) with confidence, it doesn't matter whether they say yes or no (okay, it matters, maybe just not as much). This rule is best demonstrated when out at a bar or a party, although it will also be a HUGE help when asking out that girl you've had a crush on all year). If you walk up to a woman and immediately leer at her or interrupt her conversation with the group of friends or co-workers (hey, you don't know, she could be taking a client meeting rather than out with girlfriends or on a date. It's so important never to make assumptions.), you're going to come off as a creep, plain and simple.

 It doesn't really matter what your intentions are, what kind of image you're rocking or what sort of vibe you're putting out once you've done this because you've literally flushed any possible chances you might have with her down the toilet in one fell swoop. Nicely done, sir.
When you are rejected though, no matter how appropriate or inappropriate, deserved or undeserved you think that rejection might be, you move on. On to the next one. Shake it off, giving the impression that though you're a classy guy or gal and you'd never rub it in the face of the man or woman you were interested in. You aren't bothered. You'll keep it moving and it's their loss that they weren't interested--that you just have better things to spend your time on when you're rejected (even if you really don't). If you do this, it will be them-the person you struck out with-who will feel like they're missing out-even when they're really not available to date you. You don't need to concern yourself with why they're unavailable.



They could be shy, struggling with their sexual identity, pregnant, they may have just lost their job, they may be trying to leave an abusive relationship, ill, just diagnosed with an illness, caring for an ill family member, they may have just lost someone they loved--heck, they might've just received that or other really devastating news. The fact is that YOU DON'T KNOW and truly, it's none of your business. A classy, mature guy-or gal (that's you btw)-isn't going to spend time moping around with the weight of the world on his or her shoulders, assuming that a "no thank you" or even a plain old "no" is a tacit indictment of your character. Often times it has nothing to do with you.

You could be James Franco or Aziz Ansari and you still would've been told no. The fact that you're feeling badly doesn't reflect on them and doesn't mean that they think you're a loser, which is possible of course, but not super likely. It reflects on you and you thinking you're a loser on some level, and if that is the person you want to be, then so be it, but if it's not, then show me you've got some fight left in you. Don't let something like asking out a girl-or guy-who literally never gets back to you EVER, that you honestly don't know that well that-surprise-is not available to date you-make you want to quit at life. He/she is not worth it and the only one you're giving up on when you do stuff like that is yourself. You can show her that you literally don't even care-that you dust yourself off and keep it moving. Hedge your bets. Play the odds. Ask out 3 or 4 girls or guys (NOT in the same setting!!) instead of putting all your eggs in one basket. This will help you immensely with regard to confidence.

Start a conversation only when you have something to say. 

It doesn't have to be something lengthy like a treatise on social justice in the modern age. It can literally be "you, me, sushi (or whatever kind of food she likes), Kyoto restaurant, 7pm, next Wednesday." The only thing it really shouldn't be is hey or heyy or hi or how are you or what's up (or anything that screams "I'm bored and in need of entertainment/attention and I'm putting the conversational onus on you while I sit back and be lazy). I've seen clever men who really know how to text me as a friend in such funny, clever, laugh out loud, awesome ways who turn around and text a girl they really like heyy, whatcha doin or hii. I'm here to tell you that you're capable of so much more. Also, don't answer texts or calls right away. Wait a little while. And if it's more than a few hours, a quick "what a busy day" or some such short remark will be sufficient. It may even leave her the person you're texting with thinking "hmm s/he must be important" and "maybe even wow, I'll bet s/he's been dealing with other men/women and damn isn't it cool that s/he's still making time for me?"

 Now, I'm not suggesting that you wait for exactly the length of time s/he did to text or call you down to the minute, just give the impression that you're keeping your life moving and when you do text, make what you say personal, but not creepily personal. An example of what not to say:" I like that green shirt you're wearing to work today" could be a pleasant compliment if that person you're interested in has shared a selfie with you of them at work, wearing a green shirt. However, if your compliment might give this person the impression that you are perched outside of their place of business with binoculars and vaseline in a conveniently located bush, the very same intended compliment could come off as a bit creepy. Make your compliments appropriately personal, engaging, short, and, most of all, true. If you have a conversation-even by text, or even if you meet up for coffee or a bite to eat or something, it is super important that you stick to whatever time frame you set and be the one to end the conversation or date first. You need to project value and class with everything you do and say as well as everything you choose not to do and not to say. Once you start acting accordingly, you are going to feel so much more confident and on top of things.

Although it can be nice to play the field (hey, making your way through amazing wo/man after amazing wo/man and hitting it off with and getting to know different kinds of folks at a party or outing can feel great, right? it's a confidence booster--I'm not gonna lie.), always be attentive to the person you're with. It's important to view them as the real human being that they are. They are after all just as capable of emotion and feeling as you are. Also, when dating, hedge your bets a bit, be judicious when practicing the "playing the field" strategy. Try not to settle on one person after only a few dates. You don't owe them anything except respect and vice versa. You are still just getting to know each other. You should fully expect that they're out there doing the same thing-and that's healthy.


If, however, people see you charging indiscriminately from one man woman in the room to the next, they will catch on to your not-so-subtle master plan and may not be too happy to be your next target. A classy wo/man/a wo/man who has some idea of her/his worth will not be impressed by this behavior. Conversely, someone who is impressed by this sort of behavior likely won't turn out to be someone you want to know. People of both sexes and all genders want to feel special. The subject of your interest will want to know that you've approached him/her because you saw something special in them, not because of what you feel s/he can do for you by talking with you or because s/he's another warm fe/male body in the room.

Finally, it is okay not to approach someone if you feel something may be off about them--or even if you feel that you're simply not attracted. It's okay to be discerning. Why waste either of your time pursuing someone you're not interested in and why jeopardize your safety by approaching someone who may not respect it? Just as the individuals you approach don't owe you a chance, you also don't owe them one. What's important is to remain respectful throughout any and all encounters. If you can't respect someone you're not attracted to, then you likely don't respect those people who you are attracted to. If this is the case, then it's highly unlikely that you're ready to date. If this holds true for you at this time, I would suggest doing some work on yourself. Travel, read, meet new people in non-romantic, non-sexual settings, take a class, go back to school entirely, cook, take up a sport or hobby...develop yourself.

And last, but not least, even if you do hit it off with someone great, it's always important to leave time for yourself, your hobbies, your work, your loved ones and your friends--in essence, your life. It's so important for both of you to have and live your own lives. Even married folks have their own lives to live.

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Now, go forth, live your life, be happy, and most of all...be yourself!

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Caucus Results February 20th, 2016 02/20 by Welcome To My World With Dom | Women Podcasts

Caucus Results February 20th, 2016 02/20 by Welcome To My World With Dom | Women Podcasts: JOIN US TONIGHT AT 8:30PM CENTRAL... As we discuss the results of tonight's important South Carolina and Nevada caucuses. We will be announcing and discussing caucus results as they come in. We will be particularly interested to see what comes of the open invitation that Alan Grayson issued the American people to help him decide which candidate he will be backing in the democratic caucus today. Call in and join the conversation or simply listen in.

Things My Parents Have Taught Me

This holiday season has definitely reminded me personally of how much I love my parents. They're great parents--really. They never babied me, bossed me, forced me to come to specific conclusions about life or to be the person that they wanted me to be.

They never forced me to do specific assigned activities that I hated doing. I even remember an argument--I likely heard about this argument when I was a bit older that my parents had when I was but a little one regarding whether or not I would be allowed to wear my sparkly she-ra princess of power outfit and cape (complete with head piece and full makeup of course) to the grocery store with my Mom. Most Moms would've been embarrassed, you see, but not mine. My Mom proudly carted me around the grocery store in my Halloween best (probably dodging more than a few judgmental glares from other parents and adults in so doing). My parents taught me how to play baseball, football and hockey, but also allowed me to participate in modeling, cheerleading, dance, language camp, guitar, poms and voice lessons. Some of these activities, they even bankrolled-ill advised though other parents may have thought them to be. In short, my parents guided me but allowed me to be the person I was and develop into the person that I am now. My parents didn't buy me expensive toys (I'm still waiting on that Nintendo, complete with Super Mario Bros.) or allow me to eat sugary cereals (I would've eaten cookie crisp and fruit loops for breakfast, lunch and dinner, left to my own devices). I was taught to cook for myself at a very early age. I didn't rely on Mom to cook me three delicious meals every day of my life.

 I was encouraged to start working as soon as I was able and I did just that. Because of that, I developed a strong work ethic very early on that dare I say is sorely missing in this world, especially among kids.  My parents didn't judge me and they didn't shelter me. As a kid, I always took that style of parenting for granted, but now that I'm a grown-up, I see just how tricky and delicate that balance was to create and maintain.
 As a child and subsequently as an adult, I always know that I can count on my parents whenever I need them--maybe not to buy me a house or a car, but in more meaningful ways. I can count on them not to judge me, label me, put me down or cause me harm, and most importantly (let's be honest), I can always count on them to buy lunch! As an adult and as a lifestyle consultant, I know now how truly rare that is. I am lucky enough not only to have many great memories of growing up, but not to have any icky, sick or damaging ones. I'm certainly not suggesting that I'm perfect. My parents weren't either, but they were pretty damned close, and I'm thankful for that.

Is This The American Dream?

 I've heard so much lately about how anyone who does anything to try to make a difference in this big, beautiful world, whether it be influencing socioeconomic issues, trying to shed light upon and help prevent and treat wars, attacks, and other world issues--who try to treat and contain the ramifications of the effects of such significant occurrences...that anyone who participates in science, politics, has their own system of belief, etc. but does not subscribe to X system of belief or perform X modality is "doing it wrong"--how they shouldn't be concerned-how caring about the world around us and having empathy of any kind is simply a shout into the void and only God/the universe, the law of attraction, etc is the way to go and that by thinking about how to solve world problems, we're "calling them in." Sadly, a lot of very impressionable people whose world views haven't yet been fully formed are out there listening to this malarkey. This is my answer to that...
 I know the world can be a tough place. I know that things don't always go our way. I know that it's comforting to think that there's some all powerful deity or law or what have you guiding you. That takes some of the responsibility out of your hands and it's okay to not want responsibility. That's okay. What's not okay is to give your personal responsibility and your astoundingly powerful, unique individual voice to some supposed divine law or to God or the universe or what have you and to absolve yourself of it in turn. What's not okay is to see suffering and to turn your head and say sorry, but I can't possibly be distracted from my path to riches/perfect spiritual enlightenment/God/etc, because when we do that, we're missing the point. We're unable to see the forest for the trees. What matters in this life--possibly more than anything else is being a good person--whatever that means to you. What matters in life is being empathetic and kind and compassionate and giving your voice to those who don't have or can't use their own. What matters in this life is leaving this world a better place than it was when you found it.
 I hear so many people raging against "politics" (i.e. what they perceive politics to be), science and against having important discussions 'because bad juju' and 'negativity' and 'because I can't be bothered to be torn from my path of perfect bliss and enlightenment in order to help you or in order to give back to the society that gave me the incredible gifts that I have--that created the impetus that set me upon my current path.' On one hand, I'm glad that people are so comfortable in their own lives that they actually feel that there's an invisible force taking care of them at every turn which absolves them of the need to make their own decisions. On the other, I think that they're completely missing the point. The point being that to live here means having the full human experience. The point of being here is to have the entire range of emotions and experiences and to learn from those experiences and apply that learning to the betterment of society in some way. I personally believe that if there is a heaven--an other side-and I believe there is (energy can only be changed and transmuted, not created or destroyed), we may choose to help those who are still here living in this universe in physical form once we no longer are, but then again I don't begrudge anyone else their own personal beliefs as long as those beliefs don't encroach on my freedom. My rights end where yours begin and vice versa.
 We are all different. None of us are the same. There is only one you in this world and the chances that you would be born with the exact features, quirks, character traits, likes, dislikes and skills are ASTRONOMICAL. We are truly all unique individuals of the highest order. We each have different life skills and different areas of expertise. We do however have one glaring similarity that binds us all together. We all came from a home of some sort where we were fed and clothed and provided with water to bathe a do drink, electricity and gas when extremes of temperature manifested at the appropriate times of year and we all had education and health care of some sort.
 If you think that God/the law of attraction/etc. provided you with that without the help of government in particular and generations of people who've fought and died for your rights, then you're either blindly ignorant, severely stupid or both. Case in point-how many cave men have you heard of with appropriate housing and the rights that are afforded to citizens of the country you live in? How may men and women in the Middle Ages lived past age 40 or so due to lack of health care? How many US presidents before about 1850 had appropriately functional and healthy sets of teeth due to dental care and science? And if that's not enough to make you reconsider your outrageous viewpoints, think about how many times you've been sick, given birth, had surgery, had to take antibiotics for a sinus infection or a UTI...
 You are quite literally alive today thanks to science, government and the empathy and ingenuity of other people. You're living the life you live today because and ONLY BECAUSE generations of men and women have fought, died, braved hunger, cold and exile from family, church and country so that you'd be able to live the relatively carefree lifestyle that you do today. Ladies and gentlemen, I think that calls for a modicum of personal and civic responsibility. I think that requires beyond a shadow of a doubt that you pay it forward. Now, you might ask what are you doing, Dominique? What are you doing to pay it forward. And my answer is this--it always will be--not enough.
 I'm a pagan/Unitarian Universalist/Secular Humanist. Personal responsibility is practically my middle name as it is, but I didn't stop there. I'm an outspoken social justice advocate, I work with animals, animal shelters and animal rescues, I've donated my time and money to some really beautiful causes thus far. I'm even running for office to make sure that you and I get to continue to live in the relatively carefree world that we do. But that is not enough. I'm not sitting around, patting myself on the back for all of my hard work and saying 'oh, I've done enough, why not let God/the law of attraction take care of the rest?' None of us should. As far as I'm concerned, we should all be writing, blogging, podcasting, working in the political arena, or dedicating our unique (potentially God given) skills to the community and giving back to it. I hear people congratulate me on making a difference in the world, and I love that my work is appreciated, but I have to wonder why people think it's so special. Literally everyone should be doing something to give back to this wonderful country of ours and to the beautiful world that gave us life. I heard someone (well, more than one person, actually) tell me this weekend that as a religious person, they felt that an individual that they came across who was clearly in desperate need of intervention and physical help-possibly even medical care-was simply a "distraction" to take them away from their religious paths. I was floored. Are we really that self centered?? Is human suffering now something that we are so far removed from that seeing someone suffering right in front of us seems like nothing more than a stumbling block along our paths to success?? If that's the case, maybe the American Dream has finally been achieved. Maybe the founding fathers achieved their goal of complete freedom--freedom that distances us so far from actual empathy and suffering that we no longer recognize it when we see it. But I'll tell you, that if that's the American Dream realized, I'm sending it back and asking for a refund.

 We've got so much work to do for the causes of equality, social justice, fair and equal treatment for all and maintaining effective, empathetic government. My message is simply this: let's not stop here. Let's not be so caught up in self congratulation that we take our eyes off the ball. Step it up and get out there.

Your Voice

What will you be doing one cold day in January-the January after next, that is? January of 2017...
Odds are you'll be going about your life, worrying about mundane stuff like work, vacuuming, dishes, the laundry. You'll be living your life, as aware (or as unaware, as the case may be) as you are right now of what's going on in the world around you. You might wake up that morning and think that the world looks the same as it ever has...you might wake up thinking as you may right now that the world takes care of itself and that you're apart from that, that your life will go on...
 What you may not realize is that things will have changed and that by that point, it may well be too late for you to wake up and realize how important your voice is--your voice, that thing you've been using to tell everyone how little politics matters, how annoying it is to see political posts on Facebook when your time could be better spent doing important things like posting meaningless platitudinous memes and cute cat videos on social media, that thing you use to have mundane conversations about the weather, that you use to yell at your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, children when you're upset, that thing you use to tell people who you see day in and day out what you need...that thing you use to let people know when things aren't okay, what it is that you need in order to make them right-your voice, that thing you use to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you and that they matter, that you use to fix the relationships that need fixing. So why oh why do you insist on using this powerful, beautiful voice of yours to tell the world how little it matters? If your voice truly didn't matter, then how is it that it's worked so well for all of these years as you've sat by trying and succeeding to convince yourself that it's meaningless? Your voice has gotten you to where you are in life. It's allowed you to take and make opportunities. It's allowed you to build your world, make your life what you want it to be. Can you imagine what a difference your voice would make added to so many others? And all you have to do is show up at your polling place-take fifteen minutes out of your day once every couple of years to do that.

Why The Term THEY Bothers Me When Used To Explain Your Theory, Or, Can We Please All Agree To Stop Using "They" To Back Up Our Theories And Beliefs For Us?

 Can I just say how much I dislike the use of the term "they" when used in relation to conspiracy theories and scare tactics-or really at all for that matter, even when it comes to defending and rationalizing your own personal beliefs? I was met with statements at least three times this week of "oh c'mon Dominique, I can't believe you actually buy THAT. THAT's just what THEY want you to think." Really people? REALLY?? Let's put on our deductive reasoning and critical thinking caps, shall we? Let's slow down with the THEY talk, mkay? In fact, let's bring it to a screeching halt, because every time you use the word "they" to prop up your system of beliefs (or the specific situational belief you're trying to express and/or explain at any given time) the terrorists win. K? Thanks Obama.
 But real talk, using the term THEY in reference to some lofty group of people operating from the shadows as a source of blame for whatever is plaguing you this minute or this hour or this day is LAZY. It tells me that you can't defend or explain your own system of dearly held beliefs. It tells me that you don't know what the actual reason is behind what it is you're trying express. It tells me that you haven't put this particular belief or system of beliefs through its paces-the first (and last) of which is Occam's Razor. What is Occam's Razor, you might ask? Well, handy that I've already written about it, but for those of you who aren't up for the task of sifting through my ramblings, I'll give you the short definition, which is this: Occam's Razor is a concept used in theoretical physics that states that however many explanations you might find for a given set of circumstances or a given situation, the simplest is always the best and likely correct. If you feel yourself being drawn to use the word THEY all the time, your theory could probably do with a liberal application of Occam's Razor. Also, if you find yourself using the term THEY more than once a week (or the term THEM for that matter) in the the above way, you might just be an alien conspiracy theorist and if you are, then you're done. Go sit in the corner with your tinfoil hat. And by the way, it's not a faraday cage for your brain. You're welcome. Back to the drawing board for you. So, can we all agree to take a giant step back from the use of the term THEY for awhile?